Are you wondering if you’re autistic, or trying to convince yourself that you can’t be? Here are the signs of autism in teens and adults.
Late-diagnosed autistic people often know there’s something different about them that’s preventing them from connecting with the non-autistic people in their lives. It’s a feeling that’s difficult to explain unless you’ve experienced it.
What is autism?
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects how someone behaves, thinks, feels, functions, processes information, and connects with the world. Autism is frequently mistaken for being a childhood disorder.
Although you can be diagnosed with ASD at any point in your life, you cannot suddenly develop autism.
Rather, you were likely masking previously and fell into autistic burnout, which led to a diagnosis.
How do autism symptoms differ between teens and adults?
Honestly, autistic traits don’t differ much between teens and adults. Teenagers and adults are alike, which might be why teens fight with their parents so much.
Developmentally speaking, teenagers test boundaries to learn independence and make their own mistakes. Adults usually have the freedoms teenagers dream of, while making their own mistakes.
The difference is in the details. If you know what you’re looking for, then you’ll see the similarities. You’ll also see the autism.
Autistic traits in teens and adults
So, what does autism look like in teens? How do autistic adults behave?
The traits listed below are not diagnostic material. They don’t guarantee diagnosis or that the behavior if specific to autism. Contrary to popular opinion, autistic traits overlap with several DSM-5 conditions and types of neurodiversity.
Use this list as a starting point to better understanding of your situation.
1. Social and communication challenges
While peer-to-peer information transfer is superb among autistic people, autistics and non-autistic people struggle to exchange information well. Autistic people comprehend literal context, whilst non-autistic people listen instead to how something is said and use their perception of how what was said made them feel to create the context.
As a result, autistic people don’t comprehend everything a non-autistic person says. On the other hand, non-autistic people struggle to comprehend literal context.
Moreover, non-autistics struggle to develop the skill to communicate using literal context and not read between the lines, so they often fight with autistic people.
Friends sharing interests
One of the ways I quickly know whether someone is autistic is by learning how they befriend people. If they prefer to spend time with like-minded people who share similar obsessions, this could mean they’re autistic.
Autistic people have what is called special interests, or obsessions. Their lives often revolve around those special interests, and they know so much about the topic(s) that they could write a book or win a themed trivia contest.
Comprehending social cues
Autistic people notice social cues, but don’t know what to do with them, so they’re usually ignored. Non-autistic people mistake this for lacking a Theory of Mind, but science debunked that.
Not responding to social cues leaves non-autistic people feeling left out, which leads to them presuming the autistic person is rude or awkward. This affects relationships when the people involved don’t understand what’s happening.
It also affects professional opportunities, because coworkers may infer you think you’re better than them or not interested in connecting. This leads to lack of trust, poor teamwork and overall chaos or drama.
2. Self-regulatory behaviors
Stimming is how autistic people regulate their emotions and mood. Additionally, stimming might fulfill a sensory need or help them destress or cope with daily demands.
Stimming behavior might present in autistic teens and adults like:
- Staying busy (e.g. joining every school club or voluntarily working overtime)
- Constantly eating (e.g. crunchy foods, lollipops, popcorn, squishy foods etc. because you “need” something in your mouth or it feels good)
- Alcohol and drug addiction (a sensory-seeking behavior)
- Sex
3. Sensory-seeking behaviors
Some common teen behaviors, which parents often perceive as rebellion, could actually be sensory-seeking behaviors.
Loading up on energy drinks might help you stay awake, but it also might fulfill the addiction desire in your brain. Playing video games for hours and days at a time could be a way of providing needed sensory stimulation.
Sensory-seeking behavior is common among those who abuse substances.
This is not an excuse to dismiss your addiction as sensory-seeking. If your addiction is truly sensory-seeking, then you need to find an alternative way to meet that need. Seek medical help to avoid negative withdrawal effects.
4. Sensory-avoidance behaviors
If you prefer not to hold hands with your partner, avoid hugs, and often get caught sitting in darkness (and you don’t feel depressed, but at peace), you might be avoiding sensory stimuli.
There’s no conclusive data supporting the common belief that most autistic people hate sensory input. Sensory overload and sensory underload can happen to anyone — it’s just slightly more intense for autistic people because our brains are incapable of functioning in spite of sensory needs.
5. Executive functioning struggles
Executive dysfunction is common in autistic individuals. Everything that helps you get things done is executive function.
This means planning, setting and achieving goals, executing plans, and even self-care (brushing teeth, bathing, feeding oneself, etc.) is difficult.
Autistic people might go days to weeks without showering because:
- The sensory input of the water is too much, plus then you have to dry off
- They know they need to, but they haven’t because of executive dysfunction
Not taking care of oneself, or doing the thing we need to do, is not a sign of laziness, depression or failure. Instead, it’s a sign that we need better supports, specifically for that which we’re struggling.
6. Special interests
As mentioned previously, many autistic people experience these serious obsessions that motivate and encourage us to keep going.
Special interests are different from regular interests (hobbies), in that we need to engage in our special interests the same way we need air.
Examples of autism symptoms in teenagers and adults
Going through a list is one thing. The actual experience is another. Here are a couple real life examples of autistic teens and adults.
Liz – From Hardworking to Shut Down
Liz works in apparel at Walmart. She knows where everything in the Girls’ and infants section belongs. She got a car so she could cover her manager while on vacation, because her supervisors perceived her as “extremely responsible and manager material”.
For $11 an hour, she does her job on a daily basis, with a near-perfect attendance record.
Liz is closest to her coworker who has ADHD. They relate in regard to dysfunctional families, dismissive mothers, and struggling to maintain their expected productivity pace.
When her managers have her do a new task, Liz asks them to clarify by showing her. She’s a visual learner who needs to know exactly what to do. Some managers get upset and tell her to “just do it”, asking her why she doesn’t know how to “put two and two together”.
Sometimes, she’s chastised for doing a bad job because it’s not perfect, or she didn’t complete it in the time her supervisors desired. On these days, her muscles hurt, never mind the sensory input of the store goings-on.
The worst days for Liz are when she gets pulled to another department, even if it’s with her coworkers. The change in her routine disrupts her coping capabilities, thrusting her into an unknown environment where she has to mask more than usual.
When Liz is paired with a chatty coworker who is autistic and has more accommodations than her because she’s under guardianship with her parents, Liz melts down or shuts down.
Liz was inline for a department manager promotion. She didn’t proceed with an interview because:
- She failed the company’s assessment, which lacked proper context
- She feared they wouldn’t appreciate an autistic manager
Jane – Complete Honesty Leads to Job Trouble
Jane works as an asset protection associate (APA). She inputs more cases than APAs at other stores, even though she hasn’t completed her training. Having a desk feels legit and gives her a space away from the hustle and ambience of the store. She’s able to unmask a little.
For her training, she has to drive to other stores where other APAs are located. Driving is her least favorite thing, especially since she struggles to drive on the highway without getting lost.
One of Jane’s bosses reprimands her for not prioritizing properly. She doesn’t understand this is part of executive dysfunction, or what that term even really means.
In her end-of-the-year review that she’s expected to write of herself, she doesn’t realize that she’s supposed to be upbeat and positive, so she writes a completely honest review. Her colleague says to her, “This goes to the higher ups. They don’t need to know your personal details. So, you know, take out the negative.”
Thereafter, she recognizes the subtle pattern, and rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) sets in: She tells herself that if they could pick and choose, they’d choose not to have an autistic APA in a heartbeat. She became self-conscious and attempts to mask her autism while falling into autistic burnout.
Freya – Stifled by Family Relationships
Freya fell homeless after moving closer to family once she received the settlement check from a car accident. Her family claimed to know what she needed, and she believed them. She moved into her new apartment with the intention of becoming a full-time blogger.
Shortly after moving in to her apartment, her life fell apart. The promised internet speed was capped at 3mbps, but it never reached beyond one. Being closer to her family stifled her more, causing her to feel like she couldn’t be herself.
The more she expressed herself, unmasked her autism, and relished in her independence, the more critical and infantilizing her family became. She quit her job after almost wrecking her car, due to her inability to drive at night.
Soon, she became homeless and bounced to three different relatives’ houses, insisting on keeping her cat because she knows what it’s like to be thrown away. Family is forever, and she’d made a lifetime commitment to her cat.
Now, she’s working to rebuild her life one day at a time from a rented room. Despite all the trauma, her family accuses her of not caring about her life, entitlement, and being “a lazy liar who just needs to behave herself”.
All three of those autistic adults are me. This is how the autistic experience goes for pretty much every autistic person I’ve met.
Unmasking Autism as an Adult
Our support needs fluctuate. Accommodations aren’t one-size-fits-all. If you meet one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.
We grow rock solid because we mask. Some autistic people can’t mask at all, and they’re diagnosed the quickest.
Most autistic teens and adults aren’t diagnosed until their lives are in disarray and they’re barely able to keep their heads above water. By then, the supports for autistic people are rare and severely lacking.
Some autistic teens and adults thrive. Yet others flop like a fish out of water in unfavorable conditions.
If you want to know if your teen has autism, look for the cracks.
If you think you might be autistic, do you feel like you’ve fallen through the cracks? Does accommodating yourself as if you’re autistic help you function better?
Click here for a free PDF printable checklist of the 7 steps to take when your child needs residential treatment.
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