Your child needs residential treatment. What do you do to get him or her the care they need? Here are the exact steps to take.
My Child Is Out of Control. What Do I Do?
Every week, we receive emails and hear from parents who are struggling because their child has behaviors that are out of control.
This can feel like a lonely place, but please know that you aren’t alone. I know this is incredibly difficult.
Suppose your child’s behavior is beyond what you can handle at home. In that case, you have probably considered an out-of-home placement, which means care in a hospital, residential treatment center, or other placement where your child can receive the supervision and mental health services they need.
Unfortunately, this type of care is expensive and can be hard to access. But don’t lose heart. With perseverance and taking the proper steps, getting this type of care for your teen or child is possible.
Be sure to click here for a free PDF printable checklist of the 7 steps to take when your child needs residential treatment so you can print this information and have it at your fingertips.
7 Steps for When Your Youth, Teen, or Child Needs Residential Treatment
You may feel lost, lonely, or frightened when you recognize that your child needs more care than you can provide. You might wonder what options are available and how to receive that support.
1. Keep a behavior & health log.
Because residential care is so expensive and invasive, not all parents who request this type of care for their children will receive it. The burden will be on you to prove your child needs this very high level of care.
While you might be at your wits’ end and ready to pull out your hair, this isn’t enough. You must document and prove your child’s behavior needs. Check out the free printable behavior log we provide to make this task easier for you.
It would help if you showed that the behavior is unsafe to the child or others, has escalated, and is not getting better with the current types of treatment being used.
This documentation can include:
- Parent records
- Behavior reports from school and programs where there are problems
- Evaluations and assessments
- IEP or 504
- Therapist recommendations
- Medical records
- List of medications, current and past
- Proof that you have tried all services available in the community (list all services, type, dates, and results)
- Police reports or court records
Because much of your child’s behavior occurs in your home, keeping a behavior log as proof of your child’s needs is essential. Keep a journal or a document on your phone or computer (that you can print when needed) with the date, the incident, what occurred, how you handled it, who was present, and the results.
This type of record-keeping is tedious (especially if your child has multiple incidents a day), but it may be the difference between your child receiving treatment.
If your child damages property or harms someone, take photos and file a police report. Some counties allow you to file a police report online. Police reports are more substantial documentation than parent reports alone.
If your child hurts you or another person, seek medical care as a way of documenting the severity of the situation. Include these reports in your file. File a police report each time your child seriously harms you or another child.
2. Seek community and in-home support.
Residential treatment is a last resort, so you must prove you have tried all community support first.
Community support includes:
- Medical care
- Psychiatric care, including medications
- Therapy with a trained mental health therapist
- Parent behavior education and proof you have tried parenting techniques
- In-home and wrap-around support services. If you are not currently receiving in-home support, contact your county Department of Mental Health to request it.
- Other services such as music therapy, equine therapy, etc.
Click here for a free PDF printable checklist of the 7 steps to take when your child needs residential treatment.
3. Research treatment centers.
Look for information about treatment centers and those that specialize in your child’s needed care.
There are many types of residential treatment. Click here for a complete list of the types of residential treatment available for children and youth.
4. Contact your insurance company.
Ask your insurance company which treatment centers are covered with your plan. All insurance companies have a toll-free number you can call or a list of the treatment options available on their website.
5. Ask your doctor and therapist for referrals.
Your pediatrician and therapist can provide referrals to treatment centers. You can also seek information from support groups or fellow parents who have children with similar issues.
6. Research funding options.
Residential treatment is expensive, and few parents can afford it. Sometimes, even if you can find a treatment center and prove that your child needs care, he or she cannot be admitted if funding has not been arranged.
Find more information about how to pay for residential treatment here.
The obstacle of paying for residential treatment can be overcome, but it will take work. Keep at it, and don’t give up.
7. Take care of yourself.
Be good to yourself. Caring for a child with mental health needs is draining.
Find ways to rest, recharge, and care for your mental and physical health. Remember that quality care and treatment are available, and your efforts will be worth it.
Click here for a free PDF printable checklist of the 7 steps to take when your child needs residential treatment.
Additional Helpful Residential Treatment Resources For You:
Download the Ultimate Residential Treatment Report {Exclusive Access to 75+ Parent Reviews & Practical Advice}
How We Got Our Son Into Residential Treatment & Get Funded
Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Treatment Centers by State
Good evening,
I was wondering if there is a way to do a referral for a 9 year old?
The family has been in crisis for some time now. There is a ton of history for this family including trauma, abuse, drug use, parents are in prison and out of the picture. The youth is struggling significantly and has been baker acted over 10 times in 4 months. She misses weeks at a time in school and at home. From the police reports we have there is also another juvenile in the home as well who is suffering due to the 9 year old’s behaviors and mental illness.
I would happily provide more info if needed, but I am wondering how to start the referral process? I am currently seeking inpatient programming as the baker act facility she usually is sent to keeps her at most 5 days and she is then sent home, sometimes it happens as quick as 24 hours. The youth needs intense inpatient treatment and case management and she is not receiving the care she needs through the facilities the family has been using.
Please feel free to reach back out to me, best way to reach me is by email.
Thank you
Hi Tammy, At 9 years old, she is somewhat young for treatment. You might need to research a program that takes children that are younger. Here is a listing of possible options. Funding can be more difficult when you go out of state, but in some cases it’s necessary. https://parentingstronger.com/residential-programs-young-children/
Thanks for also talking about how insurance could also play a part in getting child therapy services. I’d like to find a good child therapist soon because I’m thinking about helping my cousin get professional help to ease her anxiety. She has been experiencing anxiety attacks more often these past few months.