I’m opening my heart a bit here and sharing in a way that’s not easy. As a parent, it can be incredibly challenging to navigate the emotional landscape of our children.
Several of my children have dealt with anxiety, stress, and depression. We have dealt with, and are still dealing with, these emotional issues all the way from relatively minor ways like crying jags, being overly emotional, and freaking out over little things, to anxiety issues that led to major physical symptoms requiring significant medical intervention and therapeutic help. This has taught me a lot about compassion, patience, and the importance of support.
There’s a reason why it’s hard for us as parents to talk about these issues with our kids. We often feel isolated in our struggles, as if we are the only ones facing these challenges.
We feel like bad parents when our kids are anxious, stressed out, or sad. Good parents shouldn’t have kids with these issues, right? This misconception can weigh heavily on our hearts.
The reality is, they do. We do. This doesn’t make us bad parents. In fact, acknowledging these feelings is a crucial step in fostering a supportive environment for our children.
In a post, “Are Your Kids Stressed?“, we looked at the huge, growing issue of the rise in stress levels in kids—and adults—today. Many more children are feeling the effects of stress than the adults in their lives even realize. This disconnect can lead to feelings of helplessness for both parents and children.
These statistics are enough to STRESS OUT even the most contentious of parents. However, understanding the prevalence of these issues can empower us to take action.
Yet there is hope. God loves each of us as his children. He loves us as parents, and he loves our children. While our culture is changing and shifting, and this is cause for concern, God does not leave us in the lurch without hope. This divine love can be a source of strength and comfort in our parenting journey.
Let’s look at what we can do to help our kids and our family as a whole. By implementing practical calm down strategies for kids, we can create a nurturing environment that promotes emotional well-being.
5 Calm Down Strategies for Anxious Kids
1. Pray
Pray for your children. Pray with your children. We have the ability to go to the source of all comfort AND to a God who can actually change our stressful situations! God says to us:
Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you.Isaiah 35:4
2. Talk.
Talk to your children when they are feeling anxious. Here are some helpful phrases to try:
- “I am here. You are safe.”
- “Can you draw it?”
- “Which calming strategy do you want to use?”
- “What do you need from me?”
- “Let’s change the ending.”
(For more about these and other helpful phrases for parents, check out Imperfectfamilies.com.)
3. Validate
Honor your child’s feelings. “I understand that you are feeling worried.” “I realize this is stressful.” “Tell me about it.” Sometimes I know I get so wrapped up in my adult world that I push aside my kids’ worries about what to me, seems like little stuff. I have to stop and remind myself how big it is in their eyes. To them, it’s the whole world.
4. Unplug.
At the end of a stressful day, it’s so tempting to park our kids in front of a video or computer game for an hour or two so we can get dinner made or have an adult conversation before bedtime. I’ve done it tons of times!
What I often fail to realize is that the flashing lights of this type of media is stimulation. It’s not calming. One step further, depending on what our kids are watching or playing, in today’s culture it can be actually traumatic. Our family has a rule of no TV or computer games during the school week. We allow about an hour (sometimes more, sometimes less) one weekend days.
5. Let go.
Stress for kids in our modern world isn’t going to go away, but with these calm down strategies for kids, we as important adults in our children’s lives can have a tremendous positive impact. By being proactive and supportive, we can help our children navigate their emotions more effectively.
Stress for kids in our modern world isn’t going to go away, but with these steps, we as important adults in our children’s lives can have a tremendous positive impact.
What has been helpful for your children to ease their anxieties and worries?
More Helpful Resources:
What is Autistic Meltdown and How to Prevent It?
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