Are you a parent of an adopted child that you want to re-home, or are you considering second chance adoption? Second chance adoptions are far too prevalent and are hard for everyone involved.
One to five percent of adoptions get legally dissolved each year, making second chance adoptions inevitable.
What is Second Chance Adoption?
To put it simply, second chance adoption is re-homing an adopted child. It means that the initial adoption did not go as planned. You might find second chance adoptions referred to by:
- 2nd Chance Adoption
- Adoption Dissolution
- Child Re-Adoption
- Adoption Rematch
- Secondary Adoptive Placements
- Adoption Disruption
New adoptive families have to be found for the adoption disruption to be allowed in some states. Some children go to foster care. This will depend on the state and county where you live and how adoptions are handled.
What Parents Need to Know When Considering Second Chance Adoption
We understand how heartbreaking it is for parents to put their adopted child up for a second chance adoption, yet sometimes this is what is needed. An adopted child may not be able to stay in a family for reasons out of the family’s control. This happens and is not your fault.
If you are a parent who need to re-home your child, you will need an attorney who specializes in adoption, a licensed agency, and most likely a mental health professional to help with this painful process. Read on to learn about some things you will need to know.
Second Chance Adoption is Expensive
Expenses you will need to consider are:
- Legal Fees – Attorney fees and other legal fees.
- Counseling for the child, you, and your family
- An adoption agency
- Adoption fees of the new family
- Travel expenses.
Considering the child’s safety and well-being is most important when considering re-homing, but also keep your other family members and your own mental health in mind.
Legal Considerations
Second-chance adoption is subject to legal regulations that vary by jurisdiction. Legal practices must be followed in the state where the child lives and in the state where the child is being adopted.
Consult a family lawyer (ideally, who specializes in adoption) to understand the legal requirements and implications of second-chance adoption.
Reasons for Re-Homing
Re-homing a child should not be taken lightly. Reasons why an adopted child is being re-homed should be assessed. Second-chance adoption should only be used as a last resort to prevent further emotional distress for everyone involved.
Impact on the Child in Second Chance Adoption
It goes without saying that there will be tremendous impact on a child’s mental health and wellbeing when an adoption is disrupted.
Yet staying in a home situation that isn’t working isn’t good for the child either.
As you make this incredibly difficult decision, consider:
- the child’s sense of stability
- attachment
- identity
Seek the help of a therapist, mentor, or doctor to guide you through this tough transition. Below we have listed helpful resources, which includes links to parents who have lived through a similar experience, such as Carrie O’Toole ministries.
This type of situation can feel incredibly isolating, but you aren’t alone and are not the first one who has been through it.
Open Communication
Parents should maintain open and honest communication with the child throughout the re-homing process.
It’s essential to provide age-appropriate explanations and support to help the child understand the reasons for the transition and address any concerns or emotions they may have.
You know your child and what they can manage. Giving information too soon will only provide more trauma and instability for everyone. For some children, it could even require hospitalization if they are unable to cope with the news. Other children, especially those with attachment issues and RAD, may seem unphased by the news or even welcome it since attachment to you is scary to them.
Counseling and Support Services
You and your child will benefit from counseling and other support services before, during, and after re-homing.
This is a complicated process and emotional support will be needed. If you have other children, consider how they will navigate through this experience. They may experience relief because your home will regain a sense of stability. Then again, they may have fears that they will be “given away” or be forced to leave their home.
The Termination of Parental Rights in Re-Homing a Child
Parents who give up their adopted child will lose their parental rights, known as TPR, which is Termination of Parental Rights.
Because TPR could affect other future legal issues, it will be important to seek legal help from a professional.
Ongoing Support and Follow-Up After 2nd Chance Adoption
Child re-adoption is not the end of the journey for parents.
As you are able to do so, continue supporting the child and the new guardians or adoptive parents. This will ensure the best possible adjustment.
Provide support and care for yourself and other family members.
Consider how you will respond to people’s questions when your child is no longer with you. Having a prepared response will help ease the way when people are curious. These interactions can be painful for you, so knowing what you will say will help.
Prepare your other children to respond to people’s questions. Let your children’s teachers and others know that the family is going through a difficult situation.
Think ahead to times that will be hard, like holidays and family gatherings. You are grieving a difficult loss.
What Do Adoptive Parents Need to Know?
Adoptive parents need to follow appropriate steps to ensure the well-being and successful transition of the child into their family.
Help the new adoptive family or situation to be prepared for your child’s behaviors, background, and needs. Provide behavior logs, records, history, and any information about how to support their growth.
Articles detailing what to expect are listed below.
Understand the Reasons for Re-Homing
Some of the reasons that children are moved into a second chance adoption include:
- behavior challenges
- attachment disorder and RAD
- sexualized behaviors
- aggression and violence
- mental health issues
- presenting a danger to younger children in the home
Understanding these reasons can help you make the best decision for everyone involved.
Assess the Child’s Needs
Adoptive parents should take time to understand the child’s background, experiences, and any special needs they may have. Some of these special needs are listed below.
- Physical Needs – Does the child have physical disabilities? Will these be accommodated in the new home?
- Emotional Needs – Do they have Anxiety, depression, attachment, or abandonment issues?
- Developmental Needs – Do they have autism spectrum disorder (ASP), ADHD, hearing impairment, vision impairment, intellectual delay, or learning disabilities?
This might involve obtaining records from previous placements, speaking with professionals who have worked with the child, and conducting assessments to identify any physical, emotional, or developmental needs.
Seek Support and Guidance
Adoptive parents should seek support from an adoption agency, therapist, support groups, and other resources that can provide guidance and assistance throughout the adoption process and beyond. AdoptUSKids and Wasatch International Adoption are wonderful resources.
Informed, prepared, and supportive adoptive parents can help their child navigate this transition and build a healthy family bond.
What Programs Help with Second Chance Adoptions?
Below is a summary of programs that help in the second chance adoption process:
- Carrie O’Toole Ministries: Helps parents through grief and trauma resulting from parenting traumatized children.
- AdoptUsKids: Provides a photo list of kids by state who need to be adopted.
- Adoption ARC: This organization provides information and support to adoptive families.
- Caring for Your Adopted Child : (paperback) This book by the AAP offers advice for adopting older children.
- National Foster Parent Association (NFPA): Advocates for foster and adoptive parents.
- 2nd Chance Adoption: This organization places children in second chance adoption homes. Visit their Facebook page here to learn more.
Anyone involved in second-chance adoptions must approach this challenge with love, understanding, and kindness.
Parents who are having to make the tough decision of an adoption re-match, we feel for you and reward you for taking steps that will ultimately be best for the child.
Adopting parents, we commend you for considering a child re-adoption. This challenging path will be rewarding if the child’s best life is the ultimate goal, making your home the final home.
Are you an adoptive parent seeking to re-home your child, or are you a parent considering a second chance adoption? If you are, please comment below. We would love to hear from you.
FAQ about Second Chance Adoption
If you are involved in a second chance adoption situation, you know how tough the situation is for everyone involved. While never easy, these resources will help you navigate a complex situation in the best way possible.
Click here for a free PDF printable checklist of the 7 steps to take when your child needs residential treatment.
More Helpful Post To Consider Before Adoption:
7 Things You Must Know About Attachment Problems Before Adoption
Adopting an 11 year Old: What You Need to Know
How Do I Know If My Adopted Child Has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?
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