If your autistic toddler is walking on their toes or tilting their head so their ponytails fall to each side, they’re probably self-regulating. Read on below for more ways autistic toddlers stim.
- What is stimming?
- How do toddlers with autism stims?
- 1. Flicking fingers
- 2. Walking on tip toes
- 3. Humming, singing or making noises with their mouths
- 4. Patting themselves, others or objects
- 5. Constantly pulling at their hair (or other people's hair)
- 6. Rocking or swaying
- 7. Listening to the same song on repeat
- 8. Hand flapping
- 9. Repeatedly lining up objects
- 10. Visual stimming
- Understanding toddler stims
- Is my toddler autistic because he stims?
What is stimming?
Stimming is short for self-stimulating behaviors, also known as self-regulatory behaviors. It involves repetitive body movements, sounds or actions that neurodivergent individuals engage in to regulate their emotions and sensory experiences.
The purpose of stimming varies widely. It can be to
- self-soothe and calm down
- seek or cope with sensory input
- deal with stress or external stimuli
- express emotions — like joy, stress, exhaustion, fear, or anxiety
How do toddlers with autism stims?
Here are some ways that young children stim.
1. Flicking fingers
Put your middle fingernail against your thumb finger and move it up quickly. This is known as flicking fingers.
Autistic toddlers often engage in this behavior to self-stimulate. It could happen when they’re stressed, nervous or scared.
2. Walking on tip toes
If your autistic toddler is constantly walking on their toes instead of their whole foot, that could be a stim. (Be sure to check with your child’s pediatrician since it can also be the sign of a physical issue or show a need for physical therapy.)
Although it’s not typically a cause for concern, constantly walking on your toes can weaken the bone and prevent the foot from developing properly. It can also lead to injuries.
Again, it’s not usually a cause for concern and is mostly harmless. Don’t stop your child from engaging in an otherwise safe stim, because autistic people are prone to replacing the stims they’ve lost.
3. Humming, singing or making noises with their mouths
Verbal stimming is perceived as one of the most annoying stims because others can hear it. Vocal stims involve humming or making a repeated sound with their mouth or vocal chords.
Almost every other stim on this list is inaudible or nearly silent, so you don’t know if they exist unless you’re paying complete attention to your child and know what you’re looking for.
I wish I could tell you that this way of stimming gets better or goes away. Unless you teach your child to mask their autism and hide their needs, it’s not going to go away.
4. Patting themselves, others or objects
All babies learn how to self-soothe. That doesn’t make it autistic behavior automatically.
When your toddler is routinely doing the same pattern of behavior, like rubbing, twisting, or patting, as they fall asleep or feeling their emotions, this is a form of self-regulatory behavior.
5. Constantly pulling at their hair (or other people’s hair)
Commonly mistaken for trichotillomania, pulling or twisting one’s hair is a stim that can become harmful.
Of course, trichotillomania can coexist with the hair pulling. Pay attention to the intent and impact. Do they intend to pull out their hair, or is it just the only way to get their fingers out after twisting or to remove knots?
6. Rocking or swaying
Whether it’s spinning in swivel chairs or forcing you to rock them as you hold them, rocking behaviors are a stim.
Unfortunately, this can involve throwing themselves backwards whilst they’re sitting in your lap, forcing you to have the reflex to catch them before their head hits the coffee table when you’re not even expecting it.
These are all types of vestibular stims where you self-regulate by moving your body.
7. Listening to the same song on repeat
Does your autistic toddler demand listening to the same song over and over again, even though they don’t know the right lyrics? Are you going out of your mind, begging them to please choose a different song?
That’s an auditory stim.
It’s normal for a toddler or pre-school child to want to hear the same song or be read the same story again and again. When it’s taken to excess, this is when it’s a stimming behavior.
If it helps you feel any better, the song is probably bothering us as well, on some level. Thing is, the sensory input far outweighs whatever annoyance we feel.
If it helps us regulate, it’s what we do, even if it’s annoying.
8. Hand flapping
Hand flapping is such a stereotypical autistic stim, especially for toddlers, that it deserves to be last. What do you imagine when you think of hand flapping?
This stim is so much more than just hands flapping. I’m not talking about it like it’s a big, juicy burger. There’s more than meets the eye with this stim.
For me, hand flapping is dinosaur arms — you’ll know it if you see it. It’s flapping my arms like a chicken because I need to move my body that way.
9. Repeatedly lining up objects
Lining up objects in a specific order or pattern is a common stimming behavior among autistic toddlers. This behavior provides a sense of order and predictability, promoting a feeling of control in their environment.
Creating designated spaces or shelves where they can arrange objects in an organized manner can support their need for order while minimizing disruptions to everyday activities.
Alternatively, the “order” could instead be an attempt to meet their visual stimming needs. Interest in aesthetics (things looking a certain way) is a valid stim that is alive and well, just lesser known.
Which brings us to…
10. Visual stimming
Visual stimming involves repetitive behaviors focused on visual stimuli. Autistic toddlers may engage in behaviors such as hand-flapping near their eyes, staring at lights or spinning objects, or closely examining visual patterns. Offering visually stimulating toys, puzzles, or art activities is important for children who have this need.
They might count tiles on the wall or the floor, watch the ceiling, or constantly rearrange the pillows on the couch.
Understanding toddler stims
Understanding and supporting the self-stimulatory behaviors of autistic toddlers is crucial for their overall well-being and development. Stimming behaviors serve important functions for sensory regulation, self-expression, and emotional release. As parents and caregivers, it is essential to embrace and accept these behaviors while providing a supportive environment.
By recognizing and appreciating the various ways autistic toddlers stim, you can learn how to connect with your child. Offering alternative outlets for sensory exploration, such as sensory toys, music, or movement-based activities, can help expand their sensory experiences in a positive and constructive manner.
What NOT to do when toddlers stim
Never stop an autistic toddler from stimming just because it makes you feel uncomfortable.
By promoting acceptance, embracing individual differences, and fostering a nurturing environment, you can empower autistic toddlers to thrive, express themselves, and reach their full potential. Your child’s potential starts with you and the development of a connected, attached relationship.
Is my toddler autistic because he stims?
Are you concerned that your toddler might be autistic because you see them engage in stimming behaviors? Talk to your child’s doctor, and check out these posts for more information.
Signs of Autism in 1 Year Olds
Signs of Autism in 2 Year Olds
Signs of Autism in 3 Year Olds
Signs of Autism in 4 Year Olds
Signs of Autism in 5 Year Olds
Does your toddler stim? Share about it in the comments below.
Click here for a free PDF printable checklist of the 7 steps to take when your child needs residential treatment.
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